"Walk into the Fire." -Dr. Eddie Capparucci
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Dr. Eddie Capparucci has a recovery principle that will change your marriage: "Walk Into the Fire." Here's what he means: your wife may seem calm on the outside, but inside there's a consistent storm of anxiousness. The betrayal you caused doesn't just disappear because she's not actively talking about it. She's managing pain every single day, even when she looks fine. And most men avoid that pain because it's uncomfortable. You don't want to bring it up. You don't want to "make things worse." You're hoping if you just stay quiet and keep your head down, maybe the storm will pass. But avoidance doesn't help her heal. It tells her that your comfort matters more than her pain. Walking Into the Fire means you proactively approach her and ask, "How are you managing with the pain I caused you? Would you like to talk about it?" As Dr. Eddie says, it's called Walk Into the Fire because you're probably going to get burnt. She might cry. She might get angry. She might unload everything she's been holding in. It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to hurt. But that discomfort is exactly what love requires. Scripture says, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" [1 Corinthians 13:7]. Walking Into the Fire is bearing her pain with her. It's showing her that she's your top priority, not your discomfort. Your wife needs to know you care more about her healing than your own emotional comfort. When you avoid the conversation, you're protecting yourself. When you Walk Into the Fire, you're protecting her. 2 Practical Tips: To Battle Lust: This week, Walk Into the Fire. Find a calm moment and say, "How are you managing with the pain I caused you? Would you like to talk about it?" Don't defend yourself. Don't minimize. Just listen. Let her speak. Show her you care more about her healing than avoiding discomfort. Make a phone call before to regulate your emotions beforehand [and you can always bookend it with a call after]. To Help Your Wife Heal: Make this a regular practice, not a one-time conversation. Once a week, check in with her. Ask how she's doing with the pain. Let her know she doesn't have to pretend to be fine for your sake. You're willing to Walk Into the Fire as many times as it takes. She is your top priority, not your discomfort. Walk Into the Fire. Dr. Eddie has an excellent article he wrote on this topic: https://sexuallypuremen.com/2018/03/01/help-her-heal-walk-into-the-fire/ Remember, "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!" [Philippians 4:13] —Steve Join a FINALLY FREE! GROUP here. 🎙Listen to the Podcast: Catholics Fight Porn here. Sign up for a Daily 'Boost' TEXT for Motivation here. Book a 20-minute Intro Discovery Call here. Book a 1:1 Session w/Steve here. Read past Newsletters at the BLOG. Donate to CFP to support this work here.
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