“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.” [Psalm 55:12-14] That is why it cuts so deep. A stranger can’t hurt your wife like the man she trusted. Think about verse 14. This is someone who shared sweet fellowship, who walked into church beside her, who prayed next to her,...
1 day ago • 2 min read
You’ve done the hard work of staying sober. You’ve read the books, gone to the meetings, and kept grinding through the urges. And still, the same reactions keep showing up: the anger that comes out of nowhere, the shutting down, the need to escape when things get tense. That’s usually not a sobriety problem. It’s an old-wound problem. And it can be healed. There’s a second hard piece too, and it’s the one many men skip: empathy. Real empathy isn’t saying “I’m sorry” and moving on. It’s the...
2 days ago • 1 min read
It’s Election Day. Recovery teaches us to show up even when the outcome is uncertain. Today is no different. Do your part. Go vote. Let God handle the rest. Here’s the truth recovery taught me: you can’t control the outcome, only your part. We keep our side of the street clean. You don’t get to control whether your wife trusts you again. You don’t get to control every trigger or every hard day. What you control is what you do today: the call, the meeting, the honest conversation. You do your...
3 days ago • 1 min read
Today is All Souls Day. Let's do two things: pray for the dead, and remember that we will join them. Memento mori. So ask yourself honestly: am I living like I want to get to heaven? Good, holy sobriety is that answer in action. Here’s what it looks like: Live sober. It matters. Every sober day is a choice to stay on the road to eternal life. Don’t act out. Every choice to turn from lust is a step toward the God you hope to see. Repair the damage. Make amends to your wife and the people...
4 days ago • 2 min read
Happy All Saints Day! Yesterday we talked Halloween. Today is the real feast, and the readings are all about who the saints are. Here’s the part that matters for you: you’re called to be a saint. First Reading: Revelation 7:2-4, 9-14St. John sees “a great multitude, which no one could count, from every nation, race, people, and tongue.” He’s told they are “the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.” Notice...
5 days ago • 3 min read
Happy Halloween! Here’s something fun: Halloween is Catholic. And the biggest trap tonight isn’t the candy. The word comes from “All Hallows’ Eve,” the night before All Saints’ Day on November 1. For centuries Catholics kept vigil the night before a major feast, and the costumes, candy and poking a little fun at the the devil. Link. We can poke fun at the evil one because Christ already conquered him. So enjoy it. Just remember the trap isn’t the candy. It’s what we let our eyes and minds do...
6 days ago • 2 min read
The line I hear most from men who aren’t ready to change: "everybody does it." And the numbers seem to back them up. A Barna survey found about two-thirds of American men view porn at least monthly, and nearly eight in ten of those 18 to 30 years old. Link. So why make it a big deal? St. Augustine said, “Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” Everybody does it tells you a lot of men are stuck in the same thing and nobody is talking about it....
7 days ago • 1 min read
Something happens when a man first reads a Dr. Eddie Capparucci book like Going Deeper. His eyes open. He starts to see the wounded boy underneath the behavior. He understands for the first time why he does what he does when he doesn’t want to. Why the same trigger keeps working. Why he shuts down when his wife is hurting. Why the stress response goes straight to the running for the hills instead of somewhere healthy. He gets it. And then he closes the book and doesn’t know what to do with...
8 days ago • 2 min read
Today is the Feast of Saints Simon and Jude. Simon was called the Zealot. That title most likely means he was associated with the movement that wanted to violently overthrow the Roman occupiers. Source. A political radical. A man who likely believed in violence as a means to an end. A man whose ideology put him on the wrong side of peace, of order, and by most accounts of basic decency toward his enemies. And Jesus looked at him and said come follow me anyway. Your past does not disqualify...
9 days ago • 1 min read